Invasion of the Girly Girls

You would think we would have less wrestling and more tea parties when entertaining a bunch of girls, but not so.

This week we had the opportunity to watch four little girls (the Barton girls and Ashlyn Lara). It was a chance to experience what life might have been like if we had little girls instead of little boys. One one hand, there seemed to be just as much wrestling and roughhousing, but the addition of the kissing games was somewhat disconcerting. On the other hand, Ashlyn seemed to be in culture shock when we put on an episode of Avatar to calm the kids down. "Do you have Little Mermaid?" she asked. Nope. "How about Pocahontas?" Um, no. We've pretty much shied away from that genre of Disney cartoon, considering the demographics of our home.

One of the most interesting parts of the day, though, was hearing the pontifications of Brinkley Barton. For those of you who don't know Brinkley, let me just say that she has a tendency to, shall we say, embellish her stories and life history to make them much more interesting than they would normally be. So in honor of Brinkley, we are including the following stories as told by Brinkley herself.

Unbeknownst to her parents, Brinkley has been sneaking out at night to do plumbing jobs. It has always been her dream to grow up to be a plumber. In fact, while Brinkley was visiting us, she even did her best to dress like a plumber. (We have photos to prove the event, but because this is a family website and Flying Furball does not condone the plumber lifestyle, we will not be publishing those photos here.) Come on, Brinkley. Even Whitney Houston knows that crack is whack.

Another interesting tidbit that Brinkley told us was that she has been betrothed to her boyfriend, Eddie Vedder (names have been changed to protect the innocent), a professional skateboarder from Colorado. She said her parents had arranged the marriage so they could use her dowery to pay for a skiing trip.

Please note that Flying Furball has reserved the right to edit and change Brinkley's stories for the sake of reader interest. Brinkley's fiance is really a scrawny 9-year-old nose picker named Petey Morganstein. He once saw a skateboard on TV. The dowery money was actually used to buy pizza. The contents of the plumbing story are entirely true and have not been adulterated in any way.