Chair rail

The bathroom wall before ...


And after putting up the chair rail

Part of the big plans for the bathroom that I discussed in the last post was to put in a chair rail. Teressa has been hoping that I would finish the job before her mother comes next weekend. As you can see from the photos above, it may not be done yet (I still need to caulk the edges and paint), but it looks a lot closer. Unfortunately, as I was doing the job, I discovered that the walls are nowhere near square. So instead of just using the power miter saw to cut 45 degree angles for the corners, I ended up coping them instead. This added at least another three or four hours to the project. Hopefully it will look nice enough that it will be worth it in the end.

The philosophy of decorating

We have been working on redecorating the downstairs bathroom. I have painted the top half of the walls and am in the process of putting up a chair rail. While I am doing this, Teressa has been finding new decorations. I don't suppose I've been much help in the process. Every time she comes up with an idea, I shoot it down. First she wanted to hang up pictures of the family. My response: The reason I lock the door when I'm in here is to keep those same people from watching me when I'm going to the bathroom. Tonight we were at Ross when she found some inspirational phrases in nice frames. She thought those might be a good idea. Of course, they read things like, "You can't change the direction of the winds, but you can change your sails." I'm I the only one that sees something wrong with that?

So finally Teressa says, "Fine, what would you hang on the wall?" Well, I would hang a nice scenic photo — of a waterfall.

All aboard

Teressa: Do you think Sam is is old enough to potty train?
Sam: Ride the potty train. Choo choo!

What really happened

OK, so nobody is really buying the alien story. Maybe it's time to tell the real story. It's a doozy, too.


The van initially overheated in the middle of nowhere

The Mazda had worked perfectly on the trip to Cloudcroft and on the days while we were there. The drive home started uneventfully. We packed the van the night before so we could leave together with Berlin and his family. We had talked about driving separately, but he seemed a little apprehensive about the possibility of icy roads, so we figured it would be safest to be together. We were about an hour into the drive when the van overheated. Unfortunately for us, we couldn't get cell phone service at the time, probably because we were here. Fortunately, Berlin was able to drive back to a store to get some antifreeze. We tried driving on, but the car overheated again within a couple of miles. We parked the van while Berlin drove on ahead to call a tow truck. After he dropped off his family, he came back to pick up Teressa and the boys.


The tow truck driver decided to do a little muddin' on the way to Roswell

So the truck comes out to tow the van to the nearest town, Artesia, N.M. The driver asked me what shop I want to take it to. I told him I don't know since I'm not very familiar with the town. Of course, there's no Mazda dealer in town (and evidently no independent shops either). At first the driver wants to go to the GM dealership since he thinks Mazda is a GM brand. I informed him that the car is Japanese, but it does have a Ford engine inside. So we went to the Ford dealership. The discussion that followed went something like this: (The following account has been highly fictionalized.)

Manager: What on Earth is that thing?
Me: That's a Mazda.
Manager: Elroy, you ever heard of a Mazda?
Elroy: Nope, but it does have some initials on the back. I think it says UFO.
Me: That's MPV.
Manager: UFO? We only work on Fords here, not spacecraft. You'll have to take that piece of space junk to Roswell.

So maybe that's not exactly how it went down, but the gist was the same. There was no place in the whole of Artesia that would work on a Mazda. So the Ford folks called around until they found a Toyota dealership in Roswell that would do the job, but they couldn't take a look until the next day. At this point Teressa and I decided that maybe I should repair it myself, so the tow truck took me over to the Autozone, which didn't have the part I needed. Now there really wasn't anything else to do other than take the van to Roswell. The tow truck driver pulled around behind the Autozone (rather than backing out into traffic) and managed to get stuck in the mud. Eventually someone in a four-wheel-drive truck noticed our predicament and helped pull us out. It was just that kind of a day.


This is proof we saw an alien while driving home in the Honda

The next day we got a call from the Toyota dealership. They could fix the van, but it needed a new radiator. And because of the holiday weekend, it would be five days before they could get the part. That wasn't going to work for us, so we came up with a plan. We decided we would go look at some vans and SUVs at the Toyota dealership and see if there was something we liked. If not, we would rent a car and come back the weekend after the car was fixed to pick it up and drive it home. We ended up finding a nice used Honda Odyssey. We traded in the Mazda for the Honda and drove it home.

Fun in the snow

Sam loved sledding

After Christmas this year, we decided that we were actually going to let the kids experience snow. Mason and Spencer hadn't seen snow in four years, and Spencer was so young that he didn't even remember the experience. Sam, of course, had never even seen snow. He had read about it in some books, but he didn't really have a clue. We decided to go to Cloudcroft, New Mexico. Cloudcroft is a village in New Mexico nestled high in the mountains. We had gotten to know Cloudcroft while I was in El Paso for my internship. Unfortunately, Cloudcroft was snow-free that winter, but we decided to try again.

The drive across Texas is a long one, but we made good time. It helped to have Teressa's brother Berlin and his family along because we could foist one of our kids off on them. I just seem to make better time when I'm not having to reach around into the back seat to break up a fight. When we got to the southern New Mexico mountains, we were on the lookout for snow. At first there was nothing. We were starting to get worried that we might see a repeat of our last Cloudcroft winter. But as we went higher, we started to see faint traces of snow remaining in the shadows. The higher we went the more expansive the snow became. Now we knew we had snow, but it still didn't look deep enough to go sledding or skiing.

Finally, a few miles before we reached Cloudcroft it became clear that the snow was plenty deep enough to play in. What a difference a few thousand feet in elevation can make. So we were able to spend our next days outside in the cold.


Spencer started off the day wanting some help with sledding

Since our children had spent next to no time in the snow, we weren't quite sure how the boys would react. We made sure to pack plenty of warm clothes since the surest way to misery in the winter is to get wet and cold. I was worried that sledding would be a little too fast and exciting for the boys. I thought that perhaps Mason and Spencer would want continual help and that Sam might want to avoid sledding entirely. My concerns were entirely overwrought. Mason and Spencer were continually up and down the hill on their own. Sam went down on the sled with me, and every time we reached the bottom, he would exclaim, "Do it again, Dad." So we did it again. And again. And again.


It didn't take long before Spencer hit the slopes on his own


Mason was perfectly happy to be doing his own thing, too


Spencer was excited to go out on the morning of the snowstorm to check the windows of the van


Sam quickly warmed to the idea of skating

The boys have progressed with their skating. Mason required no help at all. He even says that he is the fastest skater in the family. (This may actually be true, but the way.) Spencer started out wanting help, but before we were done, he was skating all on his own. Sam didn't want his skates to touch the ice at first and preferred to be carried around the rink, but it didn't take long before he was skating, with a significant amount of assistance, of course.


This photo is proof that Mason really was riding the sled in the next picture ...


Where he appears to disappear


Before reappearing again

All in all, we had a great time playing in the snow and may even consider doing it again some day.

Aliens have landed

This was the only image captured of our alien assaulter

While traveling home from our vacation to Cloudcroft (more on that in future posts), somewhere in the vicinity of Roswell, N.M., a blinding white light descended from above and fixed our van in its center. The van seemed frozen on the spot, and it wasn't long before I realized that the van was suspended in mid-air, being sucked toward the beam of light. I knew then that we were being pulled into a UFO. At this point I kicked open the doors and pushed the rest of the family out of the van. Suddenly the aliens were next to me in the van. We grappled for the keys. I never saw their mouths moving, but I could understand their thoughts. I knew then that the aliens were desperate to acquire an Earth transport and that I would be subjected to rectal probing unless I gave up the van immediately. At this point I dropped the keys and jumped out the door. As I looked back up into the sky, I watched the van disappear into the big silver spaceship which then sped away.

Alien abduction

Stay tuned for details of our eventful family vacation. Coming soon.